Posted by Brian McCullough
Here’s a perfect post for a Friday afternoon.
- Stack items in cabinets so that they fall out on people when opened.
- Move specific items to specific places everyday. (I.e. move the boss’ favorite pen from his desk to the floor every day if asked about it blame it on ghosts.)
- See how many bathrooms you can visit in one day.
- Queue porno music to start when cleaning crew comes around the corner.
- Make blow darts out of the plastic tips of your shoelaces a straight pin and a Bic pen.
- Watch a DVD
- Listen to a CD
- Go around to all the offices and collect pictures of their families, re-arranging them so eveyone ends up with pictures of everyone else’s families.
- Explore the bathrooms/break rooms of other floors/departments/companies in your building.
- Make a pot of coffee just to see how long it takes to boil down to tar.
- Play games online.
- Read blogs.
- Go on a candy hunt
- Try to freeze things with canned air then try to smash them like the liquid metal terminator.
- Open the bottom ends of all the boxes of pens and pencils in the office supply closet.
- Digitally edit photos of monkeys to hold knives/swords
- Create a fictional background of said photos including names and upbringings of said monkeys.
- In a large company, there are parties in one department or another almost everyday, check the department fridges for leftover pizza/goodies.
- Create large scale fantastic delusions of grandeur.
- Hoard all of the good office supplies, gel pens ink cartridges for home, anything you can sell to someone in the office.
- Scavenger hunt; check the bulletin boards for lost items and see if you can find them.
- Try to make the longest paperclip chain, or largest rubber band ball.
- Put a bootable Linux CD in your boss’ drive and watch him freak out the next morning.
- Leave random voicemails for random people.
- Try to determine who would win in a fight: create imaginary fight brackets for your co-workers. Only one can be left standing.
- Pretend like you’re moving your car from the far end of the parking lot near the door so you can burn one.
- Come up with a plan for world domination.
- Shoot down your own plans for world domination.
- Try to find someplace where you can take a nap
- Listen to the game on the internet
- Stick a thumb tack into the eraser on a pencil stand it on your desk, attempt to shoot rubber bands off of the ceiling and down around the pencil.
- Start a stop watch, wheel yourself in your chair into the elevator down to the bottom, or top floor to a set location and wheel yourself back work on a better time.
- Super glue random objects together, use your imagination.
- Change the speed dial on other peoples phones.
- Call the helpdesk and ask stupid questions.
- Learn how to twirl your pen.
- Call the number on the back of your soda and ask them stupid questions. Ask them what they are wearing.
- Visit the websites of companies you’d never think would need or have a web presence. Like http://www.viennabeef.com/
- Balance your checkbook.
- Write a new constitution, with ridiculous amendments.
- Get a mini basketball hoop and shoot around.
- Shake up any soda in any company fridge.
- Write a ridiculously long list of things to do while bored at work and post it online.
The original inspiration for this list came from http://www.MonkeyKnifeFights.org though I’ve added my own entries.
They don’t appear to be online anymore, but I did want to give them credit.