TheJobBored

EDUCATION

Ivy-League University, It’ a Very Good School- May 2007
· B.S. in Finance with a Minor in Getting a Very Good Job, He’s on Wall Street Now

A Prep School- June 2003
· Dated the nicest girl, Nancy. Whatever happened to her? She used to come to Thanksgiving every year. You have to work on the day after Thanksgiving? They own your time with your family, now? Well, at least take the leftovers. You look so thin! Here, I’ll make you another chicken.
· Beaten up a lot, because all the dumb kids were jealous. They were always jealous of you, my little babushka, that’s why they never let you play basketball.

BUSINESS AND RELATED EXPERIENCE

Finance Associates, Investment Bank- July 2007-Present
Some sort of Analyst, I can’t believe how much they’re paying you
· I don’t really understand it, he said he looks at numbers all day and they make money? It makes no sense to me. It’s just like Bernie’s friend Albert back when those junky bonds were doing so well. I know, it’s good money, but maybe he’ll go to Law School. He’d make such a wonderful doctor, too.

(I’d love to post the whole thing, but I can’t take credit for it…
Go here: Your Resume, by Your Jewish Mother (The Dopple Gang)

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