Posted by Brian McCullough
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Reader Abbie from Portland, OR writes:
“If you wanted to come out about an at work relationship, how would you go about doing it? It’s not my boss, but it is a guy in my department. I don’t think we can keep the secret from people too much longer.”
Brian answers after the break…
The commenters might disagree with me, but I don’t think there’s any need for a big announcement. Just wait for someone to ask you, and then confirm it quietly. A simple, “Yes, we’re seeing each other and we’re very happy,” should suffice. You might follow up by saying something reassuring like, “Don’t worry, we’re both very committed to keeping things professional at work.”
The reason I’d go the quiet and personal route is exactly to cut down on gossip. Don’t make some big pompous office-wide announcement. Do you really think everyone is so concerned with your love life? Making it into an event would just encourage gossip. And the news is going to spread one way or another. Let it spread in a controlled way. If you wait for someone to ask you, you can put your own spin on it and make it seem like not such a big deal.
Quick note: might want to check with HR or your boss when the news does come out. Remember, some companies have strict policies about co-worker dating. If you go against policy, you might lose your job. From to tone of your question, it doesn’t sound like you’re afraid of something like that, but better safe than sorry.
What do you say, readers? Any tips for Abbie? Leave your advice in the comments.
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